change ups and left turns being right....not wrong.

A not-so-brief update.

I enjoyed my birthday. i went to the beach in Biloxi MS and read. and then wept bitterly. just kidding. i received limited sleep the night of my birthday. I actually traveled and went and saw a movie in mobile alabama and then went to find a place to lay my head.

the actual moment i turned 31 years old.

I should take pictures of the places where i sleep for ur viewing pleasure. i slept in another hotel parking lot. this one was nice and dark. I found myself waking up the next morning with a Chevy Yukon (maybe, suburban-like) running right next to me with a man sitting in it, smoking cigarettes and reading the news paper. RIGHT NEXT TO ME. i'm sleepin in a car right next to a guy that doesn't know i'm sleeping in my car. I don't want to move. I could see his cigarette in his fingers hanging outside his drivers side window. i don't want him to see me. i don't know why,....what would he do? what would he think? who cares.. but i was kinda felt i should be motionless. he took like 20 minutes more. so i just lay there, silent, awake, motionless.

so then i shot over to Pensacola Florida.

i think it says welcome to florida

i was going to go to a starbucks on the NAS (naval air station) in Pensacola but the bitter old guard checking ID's didn't let me in cuz i had  a temporary paper Drivers License..remember i lost my wallet. punk. =)
so it all works out u know. so i ended up finding myself in a place called gulf breeze Florida which is just over a bridge from Pensacola.
I wanted to go to the Brownsville Assembly of God...this is where a big movement known as the Brownsville revival got it's start. It was a bunch of miracles and healings and gold dust and gold fillings being put in peoples mouths and all sorts of other craziness back in the late 90's. i wanted to see some of that action. but ...it started at 6:30pm Wednesday.. it was already 6:45.
so anyhow gulf breeze calvary chapel popped up in my mind for some reason. I'll tell u why in a minute. so i went to the church gathering. and as i'm sitting there i start wondering if i know someone from my Calvary Chapel Bible College Days that lived in Gulf Breeze. I couldn't recall. anyhow. when the church service ended.....my old roommate Niel Spencer went up to lead worship. ha! i was his dorm steward back in 2002.. (that means i wore the pants in the room. =) Gulf Breeze was the church his pops started several years ago. we had a brief greeting. Then i left. This is why "gulf breeze Calvary chapel"popped in my mind. Neil.
i slept in a hotel that night (never again...too much cash) i needed to catch up on sleep.
I left the next morning and met 2 people. the first was Ruffio. He was really drunk and holding a sign on the side of the road that said "I wanna be a miillionare so freaking bad"(sic)...millionaire was misspelled. we found that out later as we looked closer at the sign.

anyway as i went up to talk to him, the cops also came up to him at the same time. they told him to move from the side of the street.. i just wanted to talk to him and read his sign cuz i actually couldn't read it when i passed him on the road. so i asked him what his sign was....he responded "Libra".  ha! anyway i asked him his destination and he was trying to go north.
i had to think about this. I got really anxious and fearful for some reason. i didn't like it. i was considering all the friends of mine and the wisdom of being cautious with whom i pick up. the warnings of friends put healthy fear in my mind i guess. so i told Ruffio that i was gonna read a little bit (which was my initial motivation for pulling over, not talking to Ruffio) and if he wanted to go chill at a near by pavillion, i would go and see him in a little bit.

my short journal entry which i wrote while feeling anxious:

Slept in gulf Breeze last night
in a motel for $40. I wanted to
sing at an open mic but was on the phone
with simon woodstock for a long time
then Julie Delagarza. I was really lacking
sleep-it is good to catch up here and there. My sleep has
been bad since brads house.
Anyhow I am detouring from Florida
 up to Montgomery. I wanted to pull
over to meditate and chill. I noticed some
kid holding a sign on the side of the road.
As I went over to him after I parked
the cops came over to him as i did.
They spoke to him. [I spoke to the cop later
and he said the kid wasn't wanted, nor was
his bike a stolen bike]. - his name is "rufio" he says.
He wants to get up North. Since
when do i fear my life being
jacked? he was a bit high. As i look up for him- he's no
longer there [at the pavillion that i could see].
i say this trip is about people. Rufio is a person.
What do i do? what can i offer to someone like Rufio?
What can he offer to me?

Never before have i been scared to pick up people like this. i'm doing it! so i drove the 100-200 yards to go see if he was around the area.

He was crashed on the picnic table. I shook him and yelled his name.. but he was out. really really out. so i turned around and started talking to an old gentleman named James McKantz. Awesome older man. Our perspectives on god were very similar. His daughter wants him to look into Ron Paul. i want u to look into ron paul. James is sick of politics.

this guy was amazing and quite enjoyable to talk to. back to the left is Ruffio sleeping. u can't really see him.

After talking to James for about an hour...i tried waking up Ruffio again. "do u want to go up north?" i asked 3-4 times before he got up quickly. He really wanted to leave Pensacola. 

I really like Ruffio. He is a social butterfly. He naturally is how i wish i'd been for most of my adult life. I won't mention but a few things about this guy.
I asked him why he was travelling.."i'm running away from myself". Sounded familiar to me. Our damn selves are everywhere we go. We can't escape them. He keeps going to a new place cuz it's like a new beginning.
Ruffio is incredibly smart. His knowledge about many subjects flows from his lips with confidence....except knowledge of any technological advances ie cell phones, internet wii. he'd been in prison and jail for 7 out of the past 10 years. Stories of sex, drugs, acid trips, and drunkenness also flowed freely. Humorous stories. He says he wouldn't trade any of it. Near death experiences. attempted suicide on mothers day when his mother didn't answer the phone. she's been ignoring him for quite some time now. He's hurting. He said one of his happiest moments was when his dad called him while he (ruffio) was in prison in 2005. They talked for 15 minutes. moisture glazed over his eyes at the mention of his father.
So where were we heading? up north. we looked on a map and i said i can drop him off at montgomery alabama... then i'm off to see some friends. He was cool with anywhere up north. As we studied the map he pointed to columbus, Georgia. "that's where my dad lives". He'd never met his dad. he saw a picture when his dad had a red fro. he knew he was in that town, but had no numbers or anything. so we now had a mission. Find Ruffio's pop! Adventure begins. We did some rowdy searching via the web and those places that do some background checks and all. Calling, knocking, driving, disappointments, bad leads, jail records, anxious anticipation, let downs.....it was hard. we felt like investigators. when we first got to columbus GA it was before 9 pm. we wanted to do some knocking before 10. little did we know that the time change had occurred. it was way past 9pm... actually 10:50 when i went knocking on this one door. bad idea. but hey... i didn't know it was soooo late. no answer. it was quite an erie looking house. u could tell by the lighting thru the sheet covered windows that tvs were on in like 3 different rooms. No one answered. That night i slept in my car in a walmart parking lot. he slept on a bus bench.
Our major investigations turned up short the following day. bummer. we had narrowed all our searching down to two good leads but no one answered the doors during work hours. I ended up leaving Ruffio in columbus. he wanted to stay and follow up with the final two leads. We shall hope he gets up on his feet. oh yeah...Ruffio will not call himself a christian though he knows all about it. he really believes all of it. he just knows he cannot serve two masters...so he is either going to serve god whole heartedly or...not at all. So....a life of pleasure it is....or is it? Ruffio definitely unintentionally inspired me to drink more....social reasons for me.

this is blurry, but i like it. =) our departing moments.

I left columbus and headed to Smyrna Ga which is a little town on the outskirts of Atlanta like Universal City is to San Antonio to see some old work contacts that we used to do business with. They gave me a heads up of some hot spots in Atlanta. Last night was my first night going out drinking by myself ever with intentions of actually meeting people and enjoying myself. i never did much of this. my christianity, my introvertedness and my self depreciating perspective on myself prevented me.
now the idea is that doing any of these things destorys lives. But i hardly buy that. Excess of anything brings about sorrows of many kinds... moderation is key. so i ended up meeting this beautiful cello player named Tessa...we went to some bar to meet a dood named Ken. both of them were spectacular company. Ken is loaded with amazing stories and knowledge. Both of them are free from traditional religion now. Ken is a Buddhist and Tessa claimed to be a unitarian. I ended up crashing at Kens house. no pics. i forgot.

Last night while riding my bike around the areas looking for little bars...i asked this one guy (angelo) if he knew where a certain street was.. he didn't. somehow we got to talking. he made it known he was trying to get some food. so i said i have some food in my car....he was gonna take what i offered...but after a hair more probing from yours truly, i found that he didn't just need food for himself, but for his wife and kiddos. so i don't give money out ever to anyone....that's a lie. i do upon rare occasions. i usually try to meet the specific need they seek. he needed groceries so we went to Krogers to get some food for the wife and kids. we rode back to his house on our bicycles. he politely offered me to sleep on his couch and wondered if i could give him a ride in the morning. i offered to come back a little later if it was ok. it never happened. that is when i met tessa.
This morning i went back to his house to give him that ride. I hurt hearing these stories of hurting humanity. seeing the pain and the struggles of fellow humans. it is not known to me by experience. the closer i get to people with those kind of hurts...the more i hurt for them. the more it seems compassion is built up in me. but what do i have to offer? definitely not eternal hope. that doesn't help any with their pressing needs. it's like saying "be warm and filled buddy, i'm praying for ya." as long as ur going to heaven after all this... damnit.

Angelo..kinda dark.

anyway. Ruffio and Angelo saw my deeds as a sign from god, in particular Jesus. and i'm fine with that.  i spent some more time with angelo. after the ride i rested on his couch recooping from my horrible headache from too much alcohol. damn alcohol and it's effects. i shall try to avoid such symptoms as much as possible in the future.

Anyway.. GEORGIA IS GORGEOUS. there's no mountains. but there is awesome hills and its super greeeeen!!! i loved the woodlands near houston cuz of the tall plentiful trees...Georgia has the trees, but also has the bomb hills!!!! plus plus!!! i'm hoping to hit up some mountain biking trails today if possible.. These blogs take way too long to write.  but i'm comfy in a nice starbucks with some chill music playing in the background.

Finally finished. dangit! 630pm. too late for a bike ride. i'll poke around the area til night time.
love.
adamus.