anxious.

So i'm willing to admit i'm a bit scared. indeed... fearful. =l i think to myself, "Self, what are you doing? living out of your car? seriously Adam!"
Where the hell am i going to be sleeping at night? i've thought all this stuff out. I've lived out of my car before in San Antonio for the sole purpose of getting out of debt. check-that mission was accomplished. It was quite an experience and fantastic friends helped me out along the way. But that's different. That's one city. my city. my familiar territory. I found a few places that were safe to sleep at and bounced around and rotated my familiar safe places to throughout the week. What i am doing now is more than likely going to be a different town every night! That puts a spin on stuff. not only that, but i'm going to have a bike on my roof (locked of course). possible eye candy for your local late night thief. But gosh...all these things are going thru my head tonight, the night before i head out. should i pack a gun? mace? i think mace sounds good. i think walmart parking lots will become a hang out for me these upcoming days.
fear is inspired by something!  i'm sure this is a healthy fear in most peoples eyes. but i'm not too sure.
I'll be the first to admit when i find this trip to be a failure. But for now, these things don't stop me. I'll just see how it goes and enjoy this ride as long as i can. i'm going to experience something....whatever it might be. and i'm going to see things, beautiful things. And i'm pretty sure i'm going to meet people that inspire me. I'm pretty sure i'm going to learn something about me. I'm pretty sure i'm going to learn something about life....and risk...and fear...and love... and friendship... and god..and money....and subarus...and contentment....and sadness and happiness. maybe. =) maybe i'm a little too optimistic. but.....i'd rather be inspired unto something other than fear.
remember the Adamo. I-10 East in approximately 12 hours!